Newbie Paradise

As I fly through the mission where I cycle my guns,
I take a look at my turrets and realize they're meta 1.
But that's just perfect for a newbie like me.
You know I shun fancy things like isk efficiency!

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm killin' Zor,
Rescue damsels in distress and turn in for more,
FOOL
And I've been killin' and rescuin' so long that,
Even Chribba thinks that my mind is gone!

I'm the pimp of the skimp, I'm into meta hybrids,
Prototype afterburners and invul I's in my mids,
But if I get in, scoop, get out and deliver the spiced wine,
Then tonight we're gonna party cuz I turned in just in time.

We've been spendin most our lives livin' in a newbie paradise!
Capsuleers and rats alike livin' in a newbie paradise!
We can't handle stimuli livin' in a newbie paradise!
We buy things at any price livin' in a newbie paradise!

A local pilot warped into my mission today,
Tractored my mission objective about 200kms away!
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well.
He may be laughin his head off, but I'll just go somewhere else.

But I ain't never shot a ninja even if he deserved it.
A newbie with aggression? You know that's unheard of!
I never rig my ships, but I got a dual tank,
And my corpies agree, my vexor is makin' bank!
FOOL
If you come to visit you won't stay for long,
I don't know how to push to talk and all my chatbox is gone!
And I'm not really rich but please don't shake your head
I'm just the dullest tool in the shed.

There's no sleepers, caps, or faction spawns, not a single luxury
Like the noobs in the starter systems, I'm as low-tier as can be
We've been spendin most our lives livin' in a newbie paradise!
We're just Goon and Testie spies livin' in a newbie paradise!
There's no time for large-scale fights livin' in a newbie paradise!
We shoot rats, asteroids and ice, livin' in a newbie paradise!

Hitchin' up the raven, arbalest cruise launchers,
Killed a rat on monday, soon I'll kill another!2
Think you're inefficient? DPS just dips?
Well I know I take a MILLION times as long to kill battleships.

I'm the capsuleer the little newbies emulate,
Running missions night and day, scoring ISK for a ship upgrade.
So don't be smart and play efficiently,
Or else my brother you might actually be better than me!

We've been spendin most our lives, livin' in a newbie paradise!
We're all crazy missionites livin' in a newbie paradise!
There's CONCORD and Comet lights, livin' in a newbie paradise!
But you'd claw out both your eyes, livin' in a newbie paradise!